I'm happy to say that Crossfit has helped me beat a horrible demon of mine...
Body Image.
Growing up I thought in order to be considered pretty, beautiful or attractive you had to be skinny.
I would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get there.
My mind was so warped by how I thought society wanted me to look.
And it wasn't until 2 months ago I threw the scale away. A huge sigh of relief came off my chest the moment I did it.
Negative memories surround that ugly scale...
I'd wake up in the morning stand on the scale, and hate the numbers I saw. I would tell myself, "You gained 5lbs.. How can you lose that in a couple of days to a week?" I would yo-yo diet to get back to that number that my brain was fixated on. If my pelvic bones did not stick out I felt "fat". I was never happy with how I looked. Sometimes I would cry and I wouldn't want to leave the house due to not feeling happy with how I felt about myself.
My now husband gave me the BIGGEST reality check, and I don't even think he realizes he did it. He received a text message of my now idol, Christmas Abbott, saying how hot she was. I asked him who texted him, and saw the message and specifically told him, "SERIOUSLY!? Women with muscles look DISGUSTING. You think that looks hot?" Deep down I knew she was gorgeous, but had my own mindset of how women should look. He said to me, "To be completely honest with you, I think women who are fit are far more attractive than stick thin women." Here I was striving to be thin to be "pretty" and have my soon to be husband think I'm "attractive" when in reality I'm doing the complete opposite! I was making myself unhappy, and miserable in order to achieve a certain look.
A couple months after hearing this is when I started Crossfit. I have never been so happy not only with how I feel about my body, but how I feel about myself. It has completely changed my life for the better, and I'm thankful for that! I hope that by sharing my struggles in life, that I can help at least one other person that is going through the same destructive path I did. Today is a new day, start today!
On a happier note....
Guess what day it is today!?!?
HUMP DAY!!!!!
Make it a good one :)
Xoxo!
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